Crossroads
There's a reason I've been so quiet in the blogosphere recently. I've been processing the deluge of information (especially theological information) I've received over the course of this past semester. As my previous post makes clear, it has been overwhelming, to say the least... and disorienting. "Drinking from a fire hydrant" is the expression we use at Trinity to describe what we fast-track MDiv students experience there. It's comforting to know I'm not alone in this. When you're so saturated with such diversity of perspective, it's very difficult to explore any one in any depth, and so you wind up knowing several positions fairly well and being unable to choose any of them. That is the Achilles' heel of a school that prides itself on theological diversity. And TEDS confines itself to orthodox evangelicalism. Just imagine schools like Fuller (which I almost attended) or Yale which welcome a much broader range of perspectives!
Thanks to the counsel of two pastor friends (from two different churches), the reassurance of others that the disequilibrium I am experiencing is normal, and let's not forget the peace of the Spirit through prayer, I am slowly getting back to my spiritual feet. In this process of theological bewilderment (and the consequent spiritual numbness), I have emerged a very different person... a less idealistic and dogmatic one. I worry that it may make me less of a leader, but perhaps it may free me to be a better, truer leader—freed by the security of my insecurity, freed to not go about life as a coiled viper, maintaining my security by defending my positions against the "attacks" of others. Perhaps—indeed, I hope and pray—I will emerge, first and foremost, a minister, that is, a servant, of the Gospel and the Body of Christ.
One of the trials I am facing is the decision over what denomination (if any) to cooperate with in terms of ordained ministry. I have ruled out dogmatically Calvinist traditions, liberal "traditions" (though they haven't enough history to claim traditional status), Pentecostalism, and "Old Boys Networks", and am leaning away from (hold your breath) "Bible church" ecclesiology, and independent churches in general. At present, I am considering pursuing ordination in either the Evangelical Free Church or some association of conservative/orthodox Anglicanism in North America (see here, here, and a good list here). I welcome the input of any of you who have experience with either of these denominations as to their strengths and weaknesses, particularly those of you who know me well enough to know if either (and if so, which one) would be a good fit for me.
Thanks for your prayers and support.
In Christ,
Matt
Thanks to the counsel of two pastor friends (from two different churches), the reassurance of others that the disequilibrium I am experiencing is normal, and let's not forget the peace of the Spirit through prayer, I am slowly getting back to my spiritual feet. In this process of theological bewilderment (and the consequent spiritual numbness), I have emerged a very different person... a less idealistic and dogmatic one. I worry that it may make me less of a leader, but perhaps it may free me to be a better, truer leader—freed by the security of my insecurity, freed to not go about life as a coiled viper, maintaining my security by defending my positions against the "attacks" of others. Perhaps—indeed, I hope and pray—I will emerge, first and foremost, a minister, that is, a servant, of the Gospel and the Body of Christ.
One of the trials I am facing is the decision over what denomination (if any) to cooperate with in terms of ordained ministry. I have ruled out dogmatically Calvinist traditions, liberal "traditions" (though they haven't enough history to claim traditional status), Pentecostalism, and "Old Boys Networks", and am leaning away from (hold your breath) "Bible church" ecclesiology, and independent churches in general. At present, I am considering pursuing ordination in either the Evangelical Free Church or some association of conservative/orthodox Anglicanism in North America (see here, here, and a good list here). I welcome the input of any of you who have experience with either of these denominations as to their strengths and weaknesses, particularly those of you who know me well enough to know if either (and if so, which one) would be a good fit for me.
Thanks for your prayers and support.
In Christ,
Matt
Being a layman, choice of denomination has not been a huge deal -- it's easy enough to switch without noticeable consequence.
ReplyDeleteHowever, a couple of missionary friends had been some kind of Baptists, and when in their 50's they became persuaded of the correctness of a pre-wrath/mid-trib eschatology, they were no longer supported by most of the Baptist churches that had supported their work in Latin America.
While it's difficult to forecast how you might change theologically over the decades, you might expect that you will move into new beliefs. So one thing you might consider is how rigorously dogmatic an denomination is -- and avoid it.
Of course, I'm not suggesting that you choose one which takes an anything-goes attitude, but one that accepts differences on many/most doctrines subordinate to the Trinity might be a better option.
George and Cami,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your feedback. I would have a much easier time choosing a church to attend than a church in which to be ordained and serve as pastor. My convictions about the mission of the Church--and of each Christian (disciple)--prohibit me from seeing the local church's manifestations and ministries as confined to the Sunday morning gathering, because i don't believe that gathering is the primary locus of disciple-making. It is where the vision is cast, and one of the places where the soul is nurtured, but not where the actual discipleship takes place. As a result, my role as a pastor involves more than repeating the facts about Jesus concerning the gospel (Heb 6:1), but includes helping others to live most faithfully and effectively in light of that gospel. How we "do church" has a tremendous impact on that. Your model, Cami, of egalitarian structure is one that places a lot of faith in the individual, Spirit-led believer as being self-sufficient for his/her own Christian formation, including faithfulness to the overall mission of the church. I'm coming from a perspective that sees interdependence in formation and mission in the context of community as essential for effectiveness in both.
I'm skeptical of the non-denominational approach because of the lack of accountability and support structures, but it may be the best option available. Still, the unity of the Church is of great importance to me, which draws me to the more historic traditions (e.g. Anglicanism). Just trying to figure out if there is potential for missional leadership.
I actually share your skepticism over programmatic church structures. Thinking strategically about church and leading in light of those convictions could result in a very decentralized, natural, communal "structure" that exists outside the church walls, and for me it has. Programs are one way churches hope to achieve the mission God has given them, but there are other ways--more biblical ways, i think. But in the society in which we live today, we have to be intentional about those ways, because they run counter to the World System. Gathering together once a week is not sufficient to "make disciples", the very task Jesus gave to the church, and to each Christian. Fortunately, I believe disciple-making/Christian formation happens better as we simplify our lives (both as individuals/families and churches) rather than imposing elaborate structures. Authentic, biblical community--achieved through consolidating our disconnected worlds into one, interconnected world--makes much more sense out of life, creates the optimal context for spiritual growth, and results in greater, more coherent witness to the lost around us. Does this sound encouraging and refreshing to you?
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